PMS: Are You Into It?

“Is it really okay to have Pre-Marital SEX?” a common question among teenaged and engaged couples. Perhaps you’re in a relationship that might be heading in that direction and you're unsure on what to do. In your mind, you’re probably thinking the pros and cons of PMS. However, there is approval from your peers, hope for pleasure, and the fulfillment of sexual desires. The negative side of it carries the weights of morals, fear of pregnancy or disease, and guilt. What are your points of view?.

PMS during Biblical Times

During biblical times there just wasn't a whole lot of premarital-sex taking place, since people married at such young ages, and there just wasn't much time between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage. Most of the sex taking place was after marriage, either with your spouse, which was good, or not with your spouse, which was prohibited, and that's why there's more talk about adultery than pre-marital sex. We wrestle with this issue more now because the time span between reaching the age of sexual maturity and marriage has bumped up a decade or two since biblical times. That's life in biblical times, so the question itself didn't get much discussion in a world where sex and babies went together much more than they do in our time.

In Hebrews 13:4. the Bible distinguishes two types of sex that are prohibited. The first, moichos, refers to a married person having sex with someone other than his or her spouse and is generally translated adultery. The second, porneia, in this case refers to any other unmarried sex, usually translated fornication or sexual immorality. In Ephesians 5:1-3, where we are instructed to have not even a hint of sexual immorality (porneia), or any kind of impurity in or lives. Do you think pre-marital sex might be at least a hint of sexual immorality? 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, tells us to flee sexual immorality (porneia) because the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we are to honor God with our body.Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says to avoid sexual immorality (porneia) and learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable to the Lord, not in passionate lust, like the heathen, who don’t know God.

Dynamic Sex: What about Premarital Sex

You ask, "what about premarital sex?" Of course it is a very controversial topic. While wanting to convey respect for those who differ, We would suggest it best that couples wait until marriage before having sexual relations. Why? Consider three reasons.

1. First, there is a practical reason for waiting.
Premarital sex can detract from a strong relationship and a dynamic sex life. All too often, premarital sex ends up a self-seeking, self-gratifying experience. After intercourse, one partner might be saying "I love you" while the other is thinking "I love it."

Very often premarital sex occurs in the absence of total and permanent commitment. This can bring insecurity into the relationship. Both short- and long-range problems can result, especially with the breakdown in trust. For instance, while the couple is unmarried, there can always be the nagging thought, "If s/he's done it with me, whom else have they slept with?" After they marry, one might think, "If that person was willing to break a standard with me before we married, how do I know they won't now that we are married?" Doubt and suspicion can chip away at their relationship.

2. There is a second reason for waiting: None of the arguments for premarital sex are strong enough. Of course, it's always easy to rationalize in the heat of passion and say it's right. But that is why it is important to decide beforehand-- to think with your brain instead of your glands.

3. Third, there is a moral reason for waiting. According to biblical perspective, God clearly says to wait. You might be thinking, "See, I told you God didn't want me to have any fun." Many people think this initially, then they realize that the reason God, as a loving parent, gives negative commands is for our own good. He wants us to experience something better!

In God's View

If a youth engaged in any form of fornication, could he or she be considered a virgin in God’s eyes?

Young ones today can suffer similarly. For example, a girl aged 17 years old, became physically intimate with a boy. She thought he loved her. Years later, she still regrets her actions. She laments: “I took Bible truths for granted and suffered the consequences. I lost Jehovah’s favor, and that was devastating.” A youth named Trish similarly admits: “Premarital sex was the biggest mistake of my life. I would do anything just to be a virgin again.” Yes, emotional wounds can linger for years, causing stress and heartache.

Premarital sex can wound the conscience of a God-fearing youth....

“Why would God give young people sexual desires, knowing that they should not use them until after marriage?” It is true that sexual desires can be particularly strong during “the bloom of youth.” (1 Corinthians 7:36) In fact, teenagers may experience sudden sexual arousal for no seeming reason. But this is not something wicked. It is a normal part of the development of the reproductive system.

It is also true that Jehovah designed sexual relations to be pleasurable. This was in harmony with his original purpose for humans to populate the earth. (Genesis 1:28) Nevertheless, God never intended for us to misuse our procreative powers. “Each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor,” says the Bible. (1 Thessalonians 4:4) To act upon every sexual desire would be, in a sense, as foolish as hitting someone each time you felt anger.

Sexual relations are a gift from God, a gift that is to be enjoyed at the appropriate time—when one is married. How does God feel when we try to enjoy sex outside of marriage? Well, imagine that you have purchased a gift for a friend. Before you can give it to that friend, he or she steals it! Wouldn’t you be upset? Imagine, then, how God feels when a person engages in premarital sex, abusing the gift that God has provided.